Alone
by Sabaku no Keiko
Summary: 7 months after Kate's death, someone comes to visit her grave. Two-Chappy-Story with lots of feelings and Kibbs :  and a bit of Tiva...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** _I sadly do NOT on NCIS, because I didn't have the money to buy it..._

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><p><em><strong>Alone<strong>_

Snowflakes slowly fall from the sky, throwing gleaming streams like toys between them, 'til they landed.

Each one finds her way to the ground, sooner or later, to get to the thousand other who are already there, covering the land with a powdery snow layer and bury everything in white.

Except from the footprints, the footprints of only one person. But who comes to such a sad place on a beautiful winter's morning, on a sunny day of Christmas Eve?

Little snowflakes, but oh so perfect buildings land on the black coat, unnoticed of the person who's wearing it.

White clouds of frozen breaths hang in the air. Only witnesses of the past and the future. Fading, slowly in the cold, clear air of this winter's morning.

The quiet crunching of the slow footsteps echoed, become silent. Ice blue eyes look at a little hill, one of the few in this untouched fairytale.

The boughs of a tree throw their little, filigree shadow on the gleaming, snow white surface, still unnoticed.

Black leather gloves wipe away the snowflakes on the white marble right in front of the silver haired man, now showing gleaming letters.

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><p><em>Memories are the land<em>

_Were we can't be displaced of._

_**CAITLIN TODD**_

_Beloved friend and agent_

_* 23.07.1975_

_+ 16.05.2004_

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><p>With his thumb the man seemed to fondle the letters gently, freeing them from a thin piece of ice.<p>

Leroy Jethro Gibbs kneels down, not caring about the cold snow that fills up in his black shoes, leaving wet and cold places around his ankle.

Snowflakes melting, so perfect but so fleeting, unrecoverable lost.

The first time, since the funeral of his agent 7 months ago, Special Agent Gibbs returns to the fresh grave. The first time since he lost another woman he loved to death.

Nobody knew. Sure, maybe Abby had divined something or maybe Kate had told her. What could you hide from Abs?

But Kate was the woman who tamed him again, took him from his boat and the dark basement and brought him back to life.

It was a punch, a punch in his face. He stood beside her, laughed and talked with her and then…

BANG!

Over. Her blood on his hands, on DiNozzo's face, a dark blow. Her eyes, so empty, so cold. Why did it come this far again?

Why did he let some crazy guy take the woman he loved again? He'd failed, failed again, like years ago.

Why did she have to die, instead of him? This question, this pain haunted him since the fateful day in May.

Why was she dead, why was he still living? He, who didn't deserve it anymore to live? They eyes still on the letters, the old looking man gets up and watches the land around him.

But his ice blue eyes always find their way back to his feet, to the metal letters on the white marble, to Caitlin, who was buried to his feet, finding her eternal peace, way to soon.

"_Merry Christmas, Katie…"_

Again you hear the footsteps in the snow, under the heavy movements of the silver haired Marine, getting lower, becoming silent again.

Only a single, red rose, laying on the snow in front of the gleaming letters, can tell from the lonely visit of Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

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><p><strong>AN: hope you enjoyed it. I really miss Kate... if you do, too, then review! XD**


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs walked in with a coffee in his hand and headed over to Tony's desk, watching the eyes of his colleague. They were red and swollen.

"Everything's okay, DiNozzo?" he asked.

The young Italian looked up barely noticing the glare laying on his face. He was tired and had worked over 32 hours now.

"Yeah, I'm okay, boss. It's just… uh, nothing."

"What, DiNozzo?"

But the young man just shook his head and turned to face the display of his computer which was dark. Gibbs frowned but said nothing.

Two days ago he had visited Kate's grave the first time after her funeral. It had been hard to hide the hurt under anger in front of his other agents, but it had to be.

Gibbs sighed and sat down at his own desk. He leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee. He looked over to the desk next to him, where Kate should usually sit.

But now there were other things on it. Ziva's things. She was a good agent, but never as good as Kate. Even as a Mossad.

"Boss? Can I go home?" a croaked voice appeared near his left ear and he turned to see who asked him.

Tony.

He never had just asked to go home. He never had a croaked voice, especially at work. But this time he looked so sad and tired of everything.

Gibbs' face changed instantly, softening a little bit. He even half smiled and stood up, placing a hand on Tony's shoulder. His colleague looked surprised at him.

"I was wondering if you would ever ask." Gibbs said. "Take the rest of the week off and steady yourself a bit. Kate's death has hit you hard and even after seven months you aren't over it yet."

"But you, too, boss."

The two men looked at each other, but only one pair of eyes slowly watering.

"Yes. I know." He said softly. "Now go."

"Okay, boss. Thank you."

And so Tony grabbed his things and slowly walked to the elevator, turning the last time to smile at his boss, he saw one single tear escaping the eyes of the silver haired.

Then he was away and Gibbs sat down again, sighing and throwing his coffee in the bin. It was already cold.

Then he turned to look at the empty office. Suddenly he was so angry about himself, that he had let Kate die. He never showed, but her death had hit him hard. Very hard.

He kicked his desk and buried his head in his hand, scared of looking up again, seeing the others going on like nothing had happened.

An angry curse escaped the lips of the silver haired as he walked slowly to the big window, seeing the rain, unusual for that time of the year, pour down the cold glass.

The moon shone in, right into his eyes, showing all of the emotions Gibbs had kept away all the months over, not wanting to show the weakness.

Sorrow.

Hurt.

Anger.

Fear.

Gibbs' fist hit the glass, letting the anger escape. He leaned his forehead against the glass, letting the fear escape. He let the tears flow, letting the sorrow escape.

The only emotion he kept inside his heart was the hurt about what had happened. About who he lost. About all the things that had happened between him and Kate.

"_You __know__that keeping that away won't solve your problems."_

He turned to the woman. "I know. But what else can I do?"

"_Show feelings one time and tell someone about everything."_

"And you think that'll help?"

"_No, but it makes you feel better, Jethro."_

"I've experienced it a different way the first time."

"_That was then. But what is now? Get your time and think about it."_

"No, Kate… Don't go away. Please…" he said, his face softening, but she was already away, leaving an empty place in his heart.

But now he went home, too, not noticing that someone was watching him from MTAC. Jenny stood there, feeling weird.

She was at first jealous, but also she was so sad that Jethro wasn't the same anymore. Since Kate's death he had instantly changed, becoming more angry every time.

Even if Gibbs had told him to take the rest of the week off, Tony appeared next morning, even if he were late.

McGee already sat at his desk, Ziva leaning against it. Both were watching him.

"What?" he said, throwing his rucksack in a corner behind his desk, sitting in his chair. He then looked to the desk of his boss, noticing it was empty.

"Where's Gibbs?"

Ziva and McGee shrugged and got back to work, leaving Tony with a weird feeling in his gut and confused thoughts.

"Hey, elf lord and Bambina! Why don't you talk to me? Am I uglier than yesterday?" Tony tried, but no one answered.

So he got quiet, too, and started to work over some reports.  
>When 12 a.m. passed, he was getting restless and worried. He walked over to his boss' desk and drew it open. The weapon and badge were there. The cell phone, too.<p>

"Maybe I should call him…" he mumbled and got his own phone out.

Tony speed dialed Gibbs' number, tapping his finger on the desk. When someone tapped him on the shoulder, he turned and said sharply: "What?"

McGee stood before him, his eyes big.  
>"You're exactly looking like Gibbs in this moment. Stay like this, please!" The young agent got a camera out and snapped a picture.<p>

But Tony wasn't listening. He was getting worried and more worried. So he turned to the rest of the team and announced: "Gibbs isn't answering his phone. I'm heading down to Ducky. Maybe he knows something."

Without waiting for an answer he headed down to the morgue, nearly running through the door. And he nearly bumped into Dr. Mallard who was getting out the same time he wanted in.

"Hey Duck. You heard anything from Gibbs?" – "Hello, Tony. Have you seen Jethro?"

Both laughed nervously for a moment, then steadied themselves. "No." they said simultaneous. So they turned again and walked up to the Director's office.

But on half of the way they saw Jenny Shepherd standing with the team. She seemed tired, angry and looked like she had cried.

After they arrived, she began to talk.

"Well… I have to tell you something. It's about Jethr-… Agent Gibbs. After Officer David told me, that he didn't arrive here in the morning, I did some research.

I phoned the PD and asked if anyone had seen his car or him. And… well… they found him. And his car. Just five minutes ago they were called to an accident on the highway.

A car had hit another. Both drivers are dead. One of them…" Her eyes began to water. "…Was silver haired. They checked his driver's license.

It was Gibbs."

Jenny started to sob. Ducky laid an arm around her shoulder and led her a few meters away. He seemed like he had altered in seconds.

"What's with Gibbsman?" Abby's voice was heard behind them.

Tony took a deep breath and turned. He embraced her and whispered in her ear:  
>"It's Gibbs. He's dead."<p>

Snowflakes slowly fall from the sky, throwing gleaming streams like toys between them, 'til they landed.

Each one finds her way to the ground, sooner or later, to get to the thousand other who are already there, covering the land with a powdery snow layer and bury everything in white.

Except from the footprints, the footprints of only one person. But who comes to such a sad place on a beautiful winter's morning, on a sunny New Year's day?

Little snowflakes, but oh so perfect buildings land on the black jacket, unnoticed of the person who's wearing it.

White clouds of frozen breaths hang in the air. Only witnesses of the past and the future. Fading, slowly in the cold, clear air of this winter's morning.

The quiet crunching of the slow footsteps echoed, become silent. Chocolate brown eyes look at a little hill, one of the few in this untouched fairytale.

The boughs of a tree throw their little, filigree shadow on the white marble right in front of the young man with the brown hair, now showing gleaming letters.

_Memories are the land  
>were we can't be displaced of.<em>

_**CAITLIN TODD and LEROY JETHRO GIBBS**_

_Beloved friends and agents__._

_Taken out of their lives__.__  
>But not taken out of the hearts of their friends<em>_._

_*23. 07.1975 and 14.06.1955_

_+16.05.2004 and 27.12.2004_

With his thumb the man seemed like he wanted to fondle the letters gently, like he wanted to free them from a thin piece of ice; like his boss.

Anthony DiNozzo kneels down, not caring about the cold snow that fills up in his black shoes, leaving wet and cold places around his ankle.

Snowflakes melting, so perfect but so fleeting, unrecoverable lost.

The eyes still on the letters, the sad looking, young man gets up and looks back over his shoulder to the group of four persons who were waiting near a black car.

But his chocolate brown eyes always find their way back to his feet, to the metal letters on the white marble, to Kate, and to Gibbs, who are buried to his feet, finding their eternal peace, way to soon.

"_Happy New Year, you two…" _Tony mumbles.

Again you hear the footsteps in the snow, under the heavy, tired movements of the silver haired NCIS agent, getting lower, becoming silent again as he stops to kiss the dark haired woman on her head and laying an arm around her waist, pulling her near.

Then they all get into the car, only Tony looks back over his shoulder and smiles.

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><p><strong><em>Blame it on me... I totally forgot to upload this one... sorry... Hope you enjoyed it!<em>**


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